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I came across this and just couldn't resist.
* Caveat: I'm not responsible for the grammar or the extensive use of "and."
I stress this: This is NOT a real parable. It is NOT in Scripture anywhere. I hope it doesn't offend anyone.
It was written at least 50 years ago but the author is unknown. He/she had quite a sense of humor!
I hope it makes you smile.
The Parable of the Good Samaritan
Well, it was like this:
Once upon a time a man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell among thieves. And the thorns grew up and choked that man down.And then he went on and he didn't have any money so the Queen of Sheba gave that man a thousand talents of gold and a hundred changes of raiment.
And he got in the chariot and drove furiously and when he was driving along under a big tree, his hair caught in a big limb and left him hanging there.And he was there many days and many nights. And ravens brought him food and water to drink.
While he was hanging there asleep, his wife Delilah came along and cut off his hair and he dropped and fell on stony ground. It began to rain and it rained forty days and forty nights and he hid in a cave.
He went on and met a man who said, "Come in and have supper with me," but he said, "No, I won't because I have married a wife and I can't come." The man went out into the highways and byways and compelled others to come to supper.
He went on to Jerusalem and when he got there he saw Queen Jezebel sitting up high in the window. And when she laughed at him, he said, "Throw her down from there!" And they did throw her down. And he said, "Throw her down some more! " And they threw her down some more. They threw her down seventy times seven. And the fragments they picked up was twelve baskets full.And the man asked, "Whose wife is she going to be in the day of Judgment?"
I recognize a few of these stories:
- Queen of Sheba - 1 Kings 10:1-13
- Man invited him supper - Matthew 22:2-9
- Marriage in heaven - Matthew 22:23-33
What about you? Do you see some other stories woven in this wacky parable?
On a serious note, how many Christians might hear this and think it's just fine? How many would recognize that this is a wacky, warped story?
