Friday, October 9, 2015

A Wacky, Warped Parable

I came across this and just couldn't resist.
* Caveat: I'm not responsible for the grammar or the extensive use of "and."

I stress this: This is NOT a real parable. It is NOT in Scripture anywhere. I hope it doesn't offend anyone.

It was written at least 50 years ago but the author is unknown. He/she had quite a sense of humor!

I hope it makes you smile.

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

Well it was like this:

Once upon a time a man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves. And the thorns grew up and choked that man down.

And then he went on and he didn't have any money so the Queen of Sheba gave that man a thousand talents of gold and a hundred changes of raiment.

And he got in the chariot and drove furiously and when he was driving along under a big tree, his hair caught in a big limb and left him hanging there.
And he was there many days and many nights. And he ravens brought him food and water to drink.

While he was hanging there asleep, his wife Delilah came along and cut off his hair and he dropped and fell on stony ground. It began to rain and it rained forty days and forty nights and he hid himself in a cave.

He went on and met a man who said, "Come in and have supper with me," but he said, "No, I won't because I have married a wife and I can't come." The man went out into the highways and byways and compelled others to come to supper.

He went on to Jerusalem and when he got there he saw Queen Jezebel sitting up high in the window. And when she laughed at him, he said, "Throw her down from there!" And they did throw her down. And he said, "Throw her down some more! " And they threw her down some more. They threw her down seventy times seven. And the fragments they picked up was twelve baskets full.

And the man asked, "Whose wife is she going to be in the day of Judgment?"

 I recognize a few of these stories:

  • Queen of Sheba - 1 Kings 10:1-13
  • Man invited him supper - Matthew 22:2-9
  • Marriage in heaven - Matthew 22:23-33

What about you? Do you see some other stories woven in this wacky parable?

On a serious note, how many Christians might hear this and think it's just fine? How many would recognize that this is a wacky, warped story?


  1. Wow, it is wacky. I did chuckle while reading it. The thought that a Child of God would believe the entire story is scary. May we all read and know our Bible. After all the Word is Jesus and Jesus is the Word. (John 1)

    1. It was so much fun finding the pictures!
      I'm with you, the ignorance of many Christians is frightening. Many stay on milk their whole lives. Thanks for stopping by, Cherrilyn!

  2. It's important that once our sisters and brothers accept Christ into their lives that we help them to mature in Christ by reading the bible. it's important to know what the bible says before we allow worldly wisdom to choke the life out of the gospel.

    1. You are so right, Calandra. When I was a new Christian, a godly man encouraged me to delve into the Word. Not enough mentoring goes on today. Thanks for commenting!

  3. Sherry, I enjoyed this. I'll mention two stories I spotted: One, Absalom got his hair caught in a tree (2 Samuel 18:9-10). Two, Elijah was fed meat and bread twice a day by the ravens (1 Kings 17:1-6). You are right, biblical illiteracy is sad. For example, how many people sit in church for years, yet still think Luke and Paul were 2 of the 12 disciples?

  4. I missed Elijah! In my defense, I was too busy laughing. :)
    Studying God's Word takes time and discipline - and a change in priorities. It's too easy to be spoon-fed.

  5. Loved hearing/reading it again. Funny.

  6. It's wonderful that you laughed. No better moment in the day! Thanks for stopping by, friend!

  7. Sherry God did create us with the ability to laugh and joke. I too found it funny and there wasn't anything in it that opposed God. I thought about David and the sins he committed with Bathsheba.

    1. It was an interesting mix of Old Testament stories and New Testament parables. Poor David, the death of Absalom in battle was one of stories.

  8. Yes, very strange. I do wonder if some people would read it and take it for biblical truth. I sure hope not. We have to be careful about what we share and expose our kids too... we go to the library a lot and I often find books that are meant to be godly but twist stories a little too far. God's truth is perfect the way it is and doesn't need to be changed. Thank you for providing the disclaimer!

  9. That was different. Wacky even. So many twisted versions of the biblical stories.