Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Psalm 23:1 Choose Jesus, Your Shepherd


The Lord is my Shepherd
I shall not want. Psalm 23:1

This verse describes a beautiful truth and presents a difficult choice. All in nine words.

The Lord is my Shepherd.

An amazing truth; an unchangeable fact
If you have accepted Jesus’ forgiveness and are building a relationship with Him, He is your Shepherd

Most of us picture a gentle man carrying a lamb, with sheep gathered around Him. A peaceful, pastoral scene. But really, when is life peaceful? Bills, kids and homework, an issue at work, a to-do list at home...there's always something.

Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed by the daily problems or decisions we face. How wonderful to know that our Shepherd is right by our side to calm us, to strengthen us, and to guide us. We can say, as Jacob said to Joseph in Genesis 48:15, "God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day." 

Jesus never takes a break, He never tires of hearing your voice. He loves you beyond your wildest imagination. 

We never walk alone, our Shepherd is with us.
  • He longs to provide what we need.
  • He offers guidance during difficult times.
  • He offers wisdom when we face hard decisions.

I shall not want.

There is such calm assurance with Jesus as our Shepherd, but David didn't end there. He proclaimed his choice to be continuously satisfied with the life his Shepherd gave him. 

Jesus is our faithful Shepherd, but we must choose to rest in his guidance and be satisfied with His provision.  


Remember the old saying, “The grass is always greener…”?

I've got a great husband, a nice 
house, a new car, great kids, two perfect grandchildren, three fun grandpets, and a dog who loves me unconditionally. 



But...

I see bigger houses and I want them. Surely they come with a maid!
I've always dreamed of having a Ferrari. My little Ford just doesn't cut it. Give me a bright red sports car!



Of course, I'm being frivolous, but sometimes I focus on what I don't have and miss the unbelievable blessings that surround me. Sometimes, I live in a grass-is-always-greener world. 

David didn't look beyond what he had, no matter the circumstance.  

  • When he hid in a cave to escape the men who wanted to kill him, he was at peace with his Shepherd (Psalm 57). 
  • When he lost his son born to Bathsheba, he went before the Lord, recognizing the justice of God's punishment and confident that God would forgive him and give him another son (Psalm 51).
  • When he lost his home and position as King of Israel, he was satisfied with his Shepherd's provision (Psalm 3).
What does it mean to say, "I shall not want."?
  • We choose to be satisfied with what He provides, no matter how small.
  • We choose to accept His guidance, though we might not agree.
  • We choose to follow where He leads, though we might wish to go elsewhere.
Does that sound harsh to you? I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not sure I'll ever reach this perspective. Sometimes, I look around and see needs that are unmet. Why shouldn't we have enough income to feed and clothe our families? Why do we see others who have to rely on someone else's generosity to live a simple life? 

Through his difficult life, David learned this one thing: 


My Shepherd can be trusted with my life. 
  • He won't leave us without guidance.
  • He strengthens us and helps us to follow Him closer each day.
  • He loves us and will continue to call us to His side.
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs
up his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently 
leads those that have young.  Isaiah 40:11


The Shepherd never leaves His sheep.


How do you see Jesus' ministry as your Shepherd in your life?

Monday, September 10, 2018

Psalm 23: The Good Shepherd

Photo by Antonello Falcone on Unsplash

The 23rd Psalm

Some of us know it. A few can quote it.

Whether it's familiar to us or we're discovering it for the first time, it has a deep richness we might have missed.

Many scholars suggest David wrote this psalm when he was trying to comfort Saul during the years he was so ill. Others think it might have been written during the difficult days when he was hiding in the caves to save himself from Saul's threats to murder him. 

In either case, can you see the reassurance and the deep faith in these words? 

During the years of Saul's insanity, David might have sung these words to calm Saul's spirit. During his days in a dark cave, perhaps David sang this psalm to the God he trusted above all.

I've been in difficult relationships and I've been trapped in a few dark caves. These words are so amazing to me because I'm not sure these are the ones I would say to God in those situations. Mine would probably grow out of frustration and fear. David's words came from his faith-filled heart.

With these beautiful words, David describes his deep relationship with his Shepherd.

His Shepherd. Our Shepherd

Before we explore Psalm 23, let's consider Jesus, our Shepherd. He is the shepherd who was willing to give His life for His sheep. A Shepherd who became a lamb. 

Jesus is the Lamb - He died on the cross and He rose again.
What is your view of the Risen Jesus? To me, He is radiant, majestic, a glorious King, seated on the throne by the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings.
And then I read Revelation 5:
Then I saw a Lamb looking as if it had been slain, 
standing in the center of the throne, Revelation  5:6

Thousands of angels surround the throne and proclaim, "Worthy is the  
Lamb who was slain
 to receive power and wealth and wisdom and 
strength and honor and glory and praise!" Revelation 5:11-12
Revelation 13:8 calls Jesus the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.

Perhaps Jesus sits on the throne, not as a radiant King, but as the Lamb who shed His blood to cleanse us of our sins.

When I heard about Jesus, I looked back at my life and I could see the mistakes, the poor choices, and the selfish, hurtful things I'd done. How could I ever make up for those things?  Jesus took care of that!

Jesus was slain, killed on a cross, to erase my sin - your sin. He offers total forgiveness. When you ask Him to forgive you, He cleanses you of all sin and you stand innocent before God.

How amazing! Jesus was willing to die to take your penalty for sin and to offer you freedom.

Jesus died and was buried. Then comes the joy of Easter morning.

Jesus rose from the dead - He is alive, seated on the throne in Heaven with God. Because He lives, you are promised eternal life - you will spend forever with Him.

If you haven't come to Jesus and asked for His forgiveness, please do it now. 
He longs to spend eternity with you.

In my next post we'll rejoice in Psalm 23:1:

The Lord is my Shepherd
I shall not want.


Friday, August 24, 2018

Strong in Persecution

Photo by Stephen Walker on Unsplash

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: 
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

Blessed (loved and favored by God) are they (the ones) which are persecuted (pursued with continued acts of hostility)  for righteousness' sake (because of a heart right with God, faith in God, and actions pleasing to God) for theirs is the kingdom (royal power and dignity) of heaven (eternal and consummately perfect region where God dwells)

I was perking right along feeling great about everything until I got to this last beatitude. God could have ended with the peacemakers and I would have been just fine. 

God never candy coats the truth. He never tells us only what we want to hear. He prepares us for real life, the good and the bad. 

He does, however, make sure we trust Him, are assured of His love, and have faith in His character rather than overwhelmed by our circumstances.

Look at the promises He has made us through the previous seven verses.

  • Righteousness given to us when we believe in Jesus. Matthew 5:3
  • Comfort in our sadness. Matthew 5:4
  • A glorious inheritance. Matthew 5:5
  • Perfect satisfaction when we crave Him. Matthew 5:6
  • Mercy when we are merciful. Matthew 5:7
  • God's peace when we bring peace to others.  Matthew 5:8
  • His presence and fellowship when we accept Jesus as our Savior. Matthew 5:9

How does the idea of persecution sound now?

When we are persecuted, we can stand on our righteousness through Christ, be comforted in any circumstance, focus on our heavenly riches, be perfectly satisfied, receive mercy when we stumble, be bathed in peace, and walk in His presence and fellowship.

Persecution isn't desirable. It's painful, it causes us suffering, it often leaves us standing alone, it requires difficult choices, it brings fear, and it is heartbreaking. 

It is all those things but God, in His infinite love and grace, has given us the ability to stand in the face of the attacks we experience.

 We might not be joyful in suffering, but we can feel secure in God's promises.

Things might feel like they're falling apart, but we can stand on His firm foundation.

We might be terrified, but we can have faith in His presence.

We are clothed in Jesus and filled with the Holy Spirit. 

God is faithful, and He will keep His promises!


Therefore put on the full armor (promises) of God, so that when the day
 of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you 
have done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:13
(Addition is mine.)

Please share how God has brought you through difficult days.


Saturday, August 18, 2018

Peacemakers

Photo by 广博 郝 on Unsplash

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called 
children of God. Matthew 3:9

 Blessed (loved and favored) by God are the peacemakers (ones who have received the peace of God in their hearts and who bring peace to others), for they will be called children (righteous worshippers) of God.

The heart of this verse is in the flow-through. Jesus is the peacemaker in our souls. Paul says that we were once God's enemies but, because of Jesus, now we are His children. 

What a remarkable transition, from a state of war to a relationship of true peace. 

Peace is God's most precious gift. It wells up in us and blesses us in times of joy and in times of despair. It is rich, deep, and everlasting; it is beyond our understanding. 

  • Peace when we are in chaos. 
  • Peace when we are surrounded by the love of friends and family.
  • Peace through sorrow or fear. 

It is a blessing that often draws others to God when they see peace in us during a difficult situation. 

Peacemakers. 
We are blessed with God's peace and we are blessed even more when His peace flows through us into the lives of those around us. Jesus describes the Spirit as a spring of overflowing water that flows up in us and through us.

And what blessings He gives us! We experience the joy of seeing people hug each other when there was only strife before, the relief when a misunderstanding is corrected, or the laughter as families who were once in conflict are now bound together in love.

We all yearn to be peacemakers but it's hard enough for me to keep peace with myself. I don't feel at all capable to be a peacemaker to others. And I can't, not unless I have God's strength to enable me. How does He transform me into a peacemaker?

Children of God
We are God's children! It's hard to imagine. But in this context, the word children doesn't describe us as the cherished children of our Father, although that is true. It describes those who have the freedom to worship God in righteousness. 

As God's children, we are righteous. Because of the blood of Christ, Our filthy garbs of sin are removed when we give our lives to Jesus, and we are clothed in His righteousness. What a supernatural miracle! He has transformed me from a repugnant sinner into His beloved child! Close your eyes and revel in the wonder of God's love.   

Righteous worship grows out of our love for God. It fills us with a sense of His presence. When we come before Him with an open heart, He works through His Word and the Holy Spirit to transform us into the image of His Son.


The closer we are to Him, the louder we praise Him, the more we learn of Him, the more He transforms us and enables us to live out His character to those around us. 

Jesus is the truth, the life, and the way. The Holy Spirit teaches us to share the amazing news of Jesus as our Savior. Jesus is Light and, when we worship God, we become His light to the dark world. Jesus is the Prince of Peace and He enables us to become peacemakers. Through our worship, we begin to reflect the glory of God. 

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you and you will become a peacemaker!

Are you at peace with God? Has that peace overflowed to those around you?

Saturday, August 11, 2018

The Pure In Heart


Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

Blessed (loved and favored by God) are the pure in heart (those whose life and soul have been made pure by Jesus and is centered on Him), for they shall see God (be admitted into His presence and enjoy His fellowship).

Pure in heart. I must admit, I've never felt pure in heart. My mind's full of unpleasing thoughts and a desire to sin. Praise God, we are not purified by our thoughts or works but by Jesus blood on the cross. He did for us what we are unable to do.

Clothed by Jesus righteousness. Luke 1:74-75 says God rescues us from the hands of our enemies and clothes us (Galatians 3:27) in Christ's holiness and righteousness. He doesn't see our filthiness, He sees our purity. Of course, we should come before Him in repentance because sin clouds our fellowship with Him; His fellowship with us never falters.

They shall see God. Rejoice, Rejoice! You are pure before God and you are allowed to come into His presence! When we pray, do we realize that we are fellowshipping with God? He draws near to us and fellowships with us. Isn't that a miracle?!?

Clothed by Jesus, indwelled by the Holy Spirit. We have such sweet fellowship with God, not only because we are clothed by Jesus, but also because Spirit lives in us to teach, guide, and protect us. We are shielded inside and out!

We are blessed by God because our hearts have been purified by Jesus,  we are made holy by Jesus' righteousness, and we are continually transformed by the Spirit.

What greater love is there?

How have you seen God transform you?

If this post blessed you, please share!

Friday, August 3, 2018

Those Who Are Merciful



Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. Matthew 5:7
Blessed (loved and favored by God) are the merciful (not those who only express acts of mercy but those who do so as an expression of  God's character) for they will obtain mercy (receive God's graciousness when He frees them from deserved punishment).
I was a little hung up on the word obtain in this scripture. To obtain something generally means you have to work for it, pay for it, or earn it in some other way.

My New Testament Word Dictionary clarified the meaning for me and proved what I already knew to be true:

It's impossible to earn God's favor and love. Jesus purchased that on the cross for believers. 

Sometimes, it's easy to be merciful. Some things are easy to forgive. Most of the time I stumble. I'm too angry, feel betrayed, or I've been hurt too much. Surely God wouldn't expect me to show mercy to that person!

But remember, that's exactly what He did for us when He gave His only Son.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were 
still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his 
Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Romans 5:10

Be still for a moment and reflect on God's extreme mercy. Where would we be without it? He loves us beyond our comprehension. He took us when we stood in unbelief, lived as sinners, and were His enemies to bring us to faith through the death, burial, and resurrection of His Son. 

Amazingly, God's grace and mercy pour on us even more. He filled us with the Holy Spirit and He empowers us to express His character to those around us. He understands our humanness but He's there to give us the help we need to allow His mercy to flow to the others around us. 


We serve a God of infinite love, grace,   and mercy! 



How long has it been since I rejoiced in Him?

What about God causes you to rejoice? 


Friday, July 27, 2018

Those Who Hunger and Thirst

Photo by Taylor Ann Wright on Unsplash.com



Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness 
for they shall be filled. Matthew 5:6

Blessed (loved and favored by God) are those who hunger (used figuratively: to crave desperately or to long for) and thirst (used figuratively: to eagerly seek refreshment for the soul) for righteousness (a heart right with God) for they shall be filled (satisfied by spiritual blessings.)

Have you seen the pictures of the children in third-world countries who are emaciated? It breaks my heart! Their parents can't go to the store and get nourishing food. They can't go to the refrigerator and get a glass of cold water.

We interact with people every day who crave fulfillment but don't know that Jesus is the Bread of Life. They seek refreshment don't know that Jesus is Living Water. They might search for these things in many other ways, but only God can satisfy their deep longings.

This is a beautiful promise: those who crave to be God's children will be filled with Him. It's also a call to action to believers.

How can those who yearn find what they crave?

In Romans 10:14, Paul writes, How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

Now, I'm not suggesting we all grab a poster, a Bible, and a megaphone and stand on a street corner. As believers, we're called to reveal Jesus to those around us. Although talking about His work in our lives is important, perhaps living Him before others are our most powerful "words." Sure, we're not going to be perfect. We can testify when we reach out to meet needs, but it's often more powerful when we walk in confidence of His forgiveness. 

During my time at Johnson Space Center, I worked with people of several faiths and watched them cringe with fear at the retribution they might face from their gods when they sinned. A few asked me the cause of my peace when I displeased my God. It gave me an opportunity to share the forgiveness Jesus brings when we believe in Him. When I confess my sin to God, I am assured of His forgiveness. 

Most walked away and I prayed that a seed had been planted. Occasionally, one would ask a few more questions and walk away, pondering my words. 

Step by step, we reveal Jesus' love for us and for everyone around us.  We're richly blessed and, if the seeker turns to Jesus, they will be filled with the only One who can provide true satisfaction.

Let us learn from you: Share a time when God has used you, through obedience or disobedience, to testify of His love?




Friday, July 20, 2018

Those Who Are Meek

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Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.  Matthew 5:5

Blessed (loved and favored by God) are the meek (those who are gentle, not from a position of weakness, but from a position of power) for they shall inherit (receive by right of inheritance) the earth (the whole earth under God's dominion). 

Meek...society defines this word as submissive, compliant, servile, weak. Not a desirable quality.

Is that how God wants His children to live? Submissive to the world's standards? Compliant to the society's values? Too weak to stand for Him?

Jesus referred to Himself as meek two times: Matthew 11:29 and Matthew 21:5. Obviously, Jesus is not submissive to, or compliant with, the world's standards.  In God's dictionary, to be meek is to have a lifestyle of gentleness, not submissiveness.

The meek will inherit the earth - our planet with its land and seas. I certainly hope that promise doesn't happen in the here and now! I can barely manage my own house and yard; there's no way I could handle the whole thing.

We can breathe a sigh of relief! Jesus said, "will inherit." As the earth exists now, it is under God's dominion. This inheritance is not ours today. We don't have control over this earth of land and sea but God does.

In God's perfect time, there will be a "new heaven and a new earth." We will dwell in that land of peace and perfection.
     But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where
     righteousness dwells. 2 Peter 3:13

Ok, the teaching part's over (sorry, but I'm a teacher) and the time to apply it has come.

Jesus was able to be meek because He was totally secure in His position as the Son of God. He didn't need to be overbearing or use His power to overwhelm those "less than He." He was gentle, compassionate, and loving out of the power of complete confidence in His Father.

He was totally secure in the knowledge that He would return to His Father's right hand. He was reviled and even crucified, but these events didn't define Him. He stood strong in His true definition: Son of God, Messiah, the Name above all names!

Are we secure in our positions in God's family? Are we defined by our circumstances on earth or by the truths and promises in God's Word?

The world does not define you, only the truth of God's Word defines you:

You are sons and daughters of God.
     See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! 
     And that is what we are!  1 John 3:1

Your feet are firmly planted in the truth of God's Word. 
     [You] are firmly established in the truth you now have. 2Peter 1:2

You are safe from Satan's deadly attacks because you are held in God's hand.
     ...I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
     ...I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. John 10:28

You will inherit riches beyond description in Heaven.
     ...and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir. Galatians 4:7
     Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:17

Rejoice in your true identity. Nothing in your life can change who you are. Sure, none of us is perfect. None of us is immune to the consequences of our actions or the actions of others. Life tries to force us to see ourselves through our circumstances.

Lift your face and look to Jesus! Your identity as a child of God is true, now and forever!





Friday, July 13, 2018

Those Who Mourn


Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.  Matthew 5:4

Blessed - that beautiful word again. Loved and favored by God. And, again, it seems to be a contradiction, doesn't it?

They that mourn. When we're in deep sadness, do we feel favored by God?

Remember, this is a promise. Those who mourn are blessed by God and promised to be comforted.

Let's expand Matthew 5:4:

Blessed (loved and favored by God) are they that mourn (mourn for or lament): for they will be comforted (encouraged and strengthened by consolation).

Alone and hopeless. That's how we might feel when we mourn deeply for our situation. When my Mom died, I knew I would see her again but still a deep sadness covered me. I wanted to see her now! I wanted to talk to her, to sit with her now!

When I turned to God, He fulfilled His promises. 

Many of us have mourned the loss of a loved one. Some have felt hopelessness when we lost our jobs. Some of us have been devastated by unfaithfulness or betrayal. 

In every moment, God is there!

He draws close and covers us with His peace. He reminds us we are loved and cherished. We know He understands our deep sorrow because He surrendered His only Son to a horrible death - for us!

But these blessings are only the beginning. He gives us so much more.

Sometimes I've just wanted to stay in bed - maybe climb under the bed! Have you felt that way? The things ahead of us might seem overwhelming, but God gives us courage and the promise of His presence.

When we can't stand anymore, He strengthens us. He gently lifts us and helps us to go on, one step at a time. The days before us don't become easy, but they become possible.

Jesus is our Savior; He cleanses us from our sins and restores us to His family.

Jesus is also our Savior when we walk through sorrow and grief. He surrounds us with peace and love, and He gives us courage and strength.

Praise the Lord for His blessings!


Please share your thoughts.

How He has covered you with His blessings during dark days?


Friday, July 6, 2018

Poor In Spirit

Photo by Asdrubal luna on Unsplash

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3 

I'm reading Matthew in my Bible-study time. When I came to Chapter 5, I read the beatitudes without really thinking about them. Blessed are...Blessed are...Blessed are...

Then I stopped. God prompted me to look deeper. Has He ever done that to you? You're reading along and, all of a sudden, you feel this voice whisper, "Back up, you missed something." It happens to me a lot.

So I reread verse 3. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Poor in spirit. I thought about people who feel despair, deep sorrow, or depression, People who live on the street with very little food or clothes. But I'm not sure that's who Jesus is talking about.  Why would a desperate person be called blessed?

Could it be Jesus is talking about their spiritual condition?

With the help of a couple of my reference books, Matthew 5:3 reads like this:

Blessed (loved and favored by God) are the poor (destitute) in spirit (Holy Spirit) for theirs is the kingdom (righteousness conferred by Christ on believers) of heaven (a consummately perfect region where God dwells).

Hmm. That is a bit more complicated, isn't it? Can we write it more clearly?

Those who identify with Jesus' statement realize they're spiritually poor and seek Him. He shows them favor by covering them in Christ's righteousness and promising them eternal life.

WOW! Now, that's blessed!

What about today? The verbs are present tense; Jesus' words are alive today. The rich promises are there for all of us who believe.

We are poor in spirit. We never quite "make it." There's so much to learn about God. There's so much He can teach us through His Word.  When we're aware of our poverty and open to Him, He fills us more and more.

His favor overflows! 

When we stumble, we don't have to fear. He never says, "You've gone too far! No more forgiveness for you!" We are covered in Christ's righteousness. When He looks at us, He sees us through eyes of love and righteousness. He loves us even as He loves Jesus! We are clothed eternally. We can't ruin this perfect covering, no matter how often we fall!

His love never changes!

We can rejoice because our earthly home is temporary. Our suffering and sorrows are temporary. Clouds might cover our present lives, but the Son reigns eternally. The glory of Heaven beckons us.

Our forever home is secure!

Your turn:
How have God's promises of favor, love, and security enriched your life?





Saturday, June 30, 2018

Blessed


3Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 
5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 
7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 
8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
 9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:3-10

Ever heard of the beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-10)? Many of us have. Some people think these words are an unachievable, sometimes undesirable, list of characteristics believers must have. I mean, really, who wants to mourn or to be persecuted? And how can we ever be pure in heart?

Some go so far as to say it’s a list of characteristics for salvation. I hope not because if so, I’m toast. Literally!

Blessed is a beautiful word. It describes believers as ones who have the favor of God. That sounds wonderful! How often do we think of ourselves as favored by God? If you’re like me, I’m too busy criticizing myself to remember how much God loves me. Take a minute to bask in his love and approval.

 Jesus came to turn the world upside down and that’s exactly what He does in this passage. The values described are the reverse of those in our society. In fact, many of them are considered weaknesses. Weak? It’s not easy being drastically different from the world around us. It might be hard but we can draw on God’s strength to help us.

In these verses, God pairs what He desires from us with a promise. It's difficult to live by these values but it’s a little easier if we have a promise to look forward to – in the here and now as well as in heaven. We don’t have to wait until we’re in heaven to enjoy the benefits of living for God.

Over the next few blog posts, we’ll look at these verses and learn how they enrich our lives. I hope you’ll join me!

Now it’s your turn.
Do you realize how much God loves you?
How has God encouraged you in a situation when it’s hard to stand in these values?



Friday, June 22, 2018

What's Wrong With Me?




I ran into walls.




Over time, it got worse. Imagine the look on a complete stranger’s face when I run into them with my grocery cart. Maybe I should yell, “Coming through!” when I start down an aisle.

I did what any self-respecting person would do: I ignored it.

Life became a challenge. Corners were particularly difficult and I was decorated with bruises to prove it. If I stood still for long, I slowly fell backward. One evening, I walked up to a chair, turned around, and sat down. All in one fluid motion. Sounds simple enough, right?

Not.

For a few seconds, I had no idea where my body was. Was I standing? Was I sitting? Was I floating? I freaked out! Something was seriously wrong. I went to a neurologist. It’s probably an ear-nose-throat problem, she said.

The ENT finished his tests and declared me normal. On to an optometrist. Normal. A cardiologist. Again, normal.

Excuse me? When did running into walls and falling down backward become normal?


I pleaded with God to heal me but there was no answer; at least none I could hear. My fear of the unknown drowned out His voice.

 I felt totally overwhelmed and abandoned. What was wrong with me? Was I going to get worse? Why wasn't God answering? 

I went back to the neurologist and she ordered an MRI. At my follow-up appointment, she showed me the images of a large lesion buried deep in the left side of my brain. 

How did I respond? I isolated myself; only close family knew. My friends might ask, “What caused it? What’s the treatment?” Saying, “No one knows and they can’t treat me until they do,” frightened me even more. So, I kept quiet.

Warning: Never do that! Satan moves in and fills you with hopelessness and despair. Would I be in a wheelchair soon? Would I lose my mental capabilities and become like a child?  The enemy had a field day!

God whispered, “You can’t do this alone.” Slowly, I shared with my church family. They covered me in prayer and, even now, they continue to pray. God uses them to bring me peace and to help me stand on my faith when I can’t see tomorrow.

On to a neuro-specialist who works with weird brain issues. She took me out into a hall and told me to walk around. It was comical I’m sure, but no one laughed. I told her I hadn’t had near enough beer to cause this. We both laughed; Christian authors aren’t supposed to get fall-down drunk.

After a super-duper MRI, she told me the good news: my spinal column’s in great shape for my age. Bad news: There is a lesion and she’d not seen one like it before. More good news: it’s not cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, or damage from a seizure or stroke. She'd confer with other specialists and see me again soon.

Great! Even a lesion specialist can’t figure out what’s wrong!

On the second visit, she still had no diagnosis, but she did have an explanation. Our bodies have a human GPS system but mine doesn't work. It doesn’t sense a nearby wall so I run into it. It doesn’t recognize I’ve turned a corner or changed positions. God created such a marvelous system, but mine backfired.

It’s been two years now and still no diagnosis. The specialist says I’m stable because no new lesions have appeared. Stable? I don’t know if another lesion will appear tomorrow, in 5 years, or never. Will my memory issues increase? I don't feel stable.

The unknown is frightening, but nothing’s truly unknown. 
The Lord of the Universe knows all my days and holds me in His hand. The assurance of His love and presence carries me from day to day. I  walk an unknown path physically, but God's guidance stabilizes my heart and mind every day.

No matter what you face, remember, God's with you and He’s going before you. Cling to His hand and He'll bring you through.

Your turn:
Are you on a long road with uncertain days ahead? How has God walked with you and strengthened you?